Journeys and battles

It's been a little over 4 months since I last wrote in this thing. Not much has changed, I'm still breastfeeding even though Silas has taken a bigger liking to the bottle lately while I'm at work. I knew this would happen, but I'm not going to let it bother me, he still gets the liquid gold every night and a lot on the weekends.
So my weight.....it's become this terrible issue with me. I've been on heart medicine for almost four years and just NOW found out that the biggest side effect of it is slowing your metabolism making it impossible to lose weight. So what's a girl to do? People say you don't like the way you look, so change it, well that just doesn't work. I've been working my butt off at this for 4 months and dieting as much as I can and cutting out a lot of things, and the scale just won't budge. Friends say I'm losing weight, and my jeans that were once tight are now becoming looser, so somewhere maybe something is going right, but my scale which I swear is broken won't budge from 190. I got on it yesterday and swore I'd never get on it again. It tells me the same damn crap every time. then the hubby goes and tells me it's broke, haha. I was told to go RAW/vegan diet. I really want to do this. Problem is, my hubby won't support me and or try to help me in anyway and it's totally nerveracking. It's like I'm fighting a battle I'm never going to win. I see the cardiologist the end of August, you bet your ass I will be talking to him about going off that frickin pill.
I've been a few more shoots lately and even have my first wedding coming up in a week. My self esteem is climbing which is amazing, now if I just get to losing these pounds, I think I would be completely happy with myself.
Well, I've gotta jet, gotta get to work to get that paycheck